She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
