Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
zippers are such a cool invention
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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