I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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