Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
