if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
