not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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