I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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