the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
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Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
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It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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