Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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