I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
