it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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