Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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