Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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