she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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