And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
