oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
