It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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