Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
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