Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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