Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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