and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
