we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
