Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
