Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
