your room smells of hookers.
And success
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
