She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
this beer tastes like vomit already
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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