Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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