Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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