You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
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She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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