I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
COCAINE IS GR8
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
