We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
