im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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