she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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