He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
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