He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
