RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I think my moral compass just broke
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