Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
