so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
