Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
