Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
