If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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