Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
