sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
