dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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