i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
