she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
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