So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize