she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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