I am puke
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
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Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
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There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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