Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
