i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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