I will die if light touches me.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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