But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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