so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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