That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
