I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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