I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
false alarm, still single
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
