she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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