I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Randomize
