Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
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i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
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No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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