he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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