Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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