so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
