sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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