He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
